Dishes Washing Robotically

By Tony Moorby January 11, 2019 2038



I’m hoping this is the last of the dishwasher deviation.

It was decided to install the damaged machine while a replacement door was found – at least we would have the use of it. A phone call from some regional functionary stopped that plan in its tracks. “Don’t use the machine – it’s easier for us to replace the whole thing than just a door.”

Seemed to make sense but we would have to wait until the new one was delivered. Another week passed, the machine and the morons showed up – they tell you when it’s coming with no chance to re-schedule unless you want to wait another week. Although we’ve had instances of no-shows – the equivalent of tantric yoga – you stay in all day and no one comes!

They installed the dishwasher with all the grunting and groaning that goes with it only to find that the door leaked upon testing. No amount of adjusting and leveling would cajole the miscreant machine to cooperate. Having mopped up the watery aftermath, it was pronounced to be another defective product from GE.

   Upon my reappearance at the do-it-yourself superstore with the orange logo, aisles cleared and heads dropped out of site save for one Dickensian looking fellow named John. His white hair turned two shades paler and his eyes looked like organ stops as he recognized that he’d been singled out to quell my fury.

John’s been at the store for years and recognized me as an old and regular customer. He introduced me to another manager and having repeated this gory tale I announced that I wanted a full refund, including the installation charges and I would never darken their doorstep again, taking my business to A1 Appliances where I would buy a Bosch and have it put in by a plumber resembling an intelligent human being.

A floor manager was called, an appliance manager was called and, finally the store manager, an appealing, imposing, large-framed fellow appeared and told me he would supply a Bosch and install it for free and I would owe them nothing. There was only one problem – the machine would take a month to get here, so the manager upgraded the model to one that could be here sooner. Sane heads were, at last, prevailing.

The outsourced morons turned up with the new machine but callously announced that they couldn’t put it in, as they had no drain extension pipe. I questioned them as to why they even bothered to show up and invited them to leave – well actually I told them to do something that involved sex and travel! One of them said I had to sign a release to “cover their time.” I told them (here deleting the expletives) to insert the waiver into a bodily crevice not intended for this exercise. They left, probably believing that English people are so rude. I was gripping the end of my tether in one hand and my forehead in the other.

They took the machine back to somewhere in the Carolinas just in time for Hurricane Michael to flood the warehouse! I was starting to believe that God intended for us to have dishpan hands – my fingerprints were disappearing!

The manager ordered a new one and organized for two master plumbers to install it. It arrived while I was at a recent convention so the manager had the presence of mind to have it delivered to the store along with all the necessary detritus for its successful fitting.

  Two old school experts turned up with the dishwasher at the end of November on a Friday.

Two good humored, polite, tidy, sensitive and industrious individuals who knew exactly what they were doing made the installation look like toddlers’ work. It was up and running in no time.

  The only way I could tell it was running was because a little red light shone on the floor to announce its activity. It was as quiet as the grave, as I will now be on this subject, and the Christmas dishes will be cleaned robotically.


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Last modified on Friday, 07 June 2019 12:07