A Very Complicated Christmas Gift

By Tony Moorby December 17, 2024

I write this on a new computer – a Christmas present to myself, my thirteen-year-old MacBook Air now gasping and wheezing in its efforts to maintain the pace of today’s tumult of information. The battery, recently replaced, needed two top-ups a day just to browse through e-mails, Google searches and Instagram and YouTube scrolling.

Use of a computer over time exerts a certain ‘muscle memory,’ almost subconsciously knowing where to go and which buttons to press, moving relatively quickly and gracefully over the keyboard. I’ve graduated to using more than one-fingered hunting and pecking but I still have to look at the letters as I type. My grandson has amazing ‘keyboarding’ skills, never looking at the letters as his quick-silver fingers flash hither and yon. 

Writing these essays over the last fifteen years has improved my dexterity enormously but negotiating the new programs, layouts and updating passwords on a new machine all contribute to hair-rending, teeth-gnashing, blood pressure-raising irritations, testing my temper for the last couple of days. 

I was comfortably used to my old rut. Now I’m afraid to press the wrong button, fearing I may lose some valuable (to me, at least) file or easy access.

Instagram has now kicked me off for cocking up passwords and many attempts at logging in – they’re a picky bunch anyway. They’ve accused me of running afoul of their “Standards” about five times now. I have no idea how scrolling and hitting a heart-shaped ‘Like” button or offering congratulatory comments constitute offensive behavior -enter an emoji of a person shrugging here!

I have to say that my mental acuity is no match for all that my new machine can do and maybe my old one is eons out of date in today’s technology terms. I still had to enlist the help of my daughter to transfer files from old to new and ensuring access to ‘The Cloud’ was still established and that I had sufficient storage to acquire my new-found playground.

She assured me that I can’t do anything wrong or do something that can’t be reversed but just trying to get used to opening a new document in the same format as 330 prior efforts on my old machine, was a test. No doubt repetition will reform the muscle memory.

Now that the battery lasts longer than it takes to make a cup of coffee, I’ll play with moving (unimportant) files around with attachments downloaded from the web or perhaps write imaginary speeches to no one in particular with bullet points and pictures for an accompanying slide show! NOT!

I should probably turn my back on my old laptop but for now I’ll keep it charged (or wind it up with a key!) just in case I crash this new-fangled machine.

It won’t improve my English or grammar but thankfully finds the occasional muff of a missing comma or misspelling just like before. Perhaps I can look forward to finding new subjects to fill this computer with essays.

A Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year to all of you in one of the hardest, most difficult businesses in the world.

Last modified on Tuesday, 17 December 2024 11:39