Defrosting a Wooly Mammoth

By Tony Moorby August 12, 2021 544

The new fridge was due to arrive to complete the kitchen renovation – the master bathroom is still an open project. More on that some other time.

Like many, we have a fridge/freezer in the kitchen and another, previously on duty in the kitchen, which now stands sentinel in the garage as ‘the beer fridge.’ I don’t actually drink that much beer these days but it carries the load for Terry and me to indulge our cooking exercises. The family’s not too upset by the output either.

So now the previous beer fridge is to be replaced by the old kitchen model, which has a copious amount of room to accommodate our ongoing production. Which means that the old beer fridge needs to find a new home. It’s built like a brick outhouse and is as reliable as an old Labrador (I can’t believe I’m using a dog simile). It’s been virtually maintenance-free and just needed a jolly good clean. I don’t mean a quick rub down with a dishrag and towel – we’re talking reconditioning detail standards, as its new home is to be that of one of my more persnickety daughters.

The exercise took a day and a half! Some of that time was taken up by transferring the contents of the freezer to some newly acquired coolers. Not as easy as you think. I thought I always labeled and dated containers and vacuum-packed morsels. Not so. “What in the world is this?” I exclaimed on a number of occasions as I delved into the forgotten realms of the freezer’s deeply packed shelves, undisturbed since the last imposed ice age. It’s easy to assume when you’re filling your Tupperware with Bolognese sauce or Hungarian Goulash that such contents would be deliciously recognizable at any time in the future. After months of ice-bound isolation it’s impossible to render an opinion – Beef Bourgeon or Lamb and Barley braise? Prospects of future ‘pot-luck’ dinners were being fostered by the minute.

At a point in its history some condensate had trickled down the back of the freezer compartment’s inside so that the bottom shelf and its contents were cocooned in an ice block on an Antarctic scale. Peering through the block, which included the removable basket, gave no clue as to what was imprisoned. It was large enough to excite all kinds of prehistoric proposals including a Wooly Mammoth. It took an hour to defrost with the aid of a hairdryer and finally released unrecognizable gifts which were only worthy of the trashcan.

About two-thirds of the frozen foodstuffs made it to the coolers for future delectation and I could continue the fridge’s rehabilitation.

Having been around the car business for years I had collected an agglomeration of cleaning products to impress any recon shop. Needless to say, the fridge was as clean as a new pin and the stainless steel case shone like a dime up a chimney sweep’s backside!

The new fridge/freezer has been delivered and installed since I started writing. Regular readers will remember my experiences with the dishwasher saga and the big box do-it-yourself retailer with the orange logo. I wasn’t looking forward to this episode either.

Alan and Charlie were the two nicest, cleverest, most humorous and conscientious installers I’ve ever met. They were clean and tidy, as well as polite. They moved the old fridge from the kitchen to the garage with the grace of a ballet with nary a grunt or groan. Alan was large and muscular – no surprise there but Charlie was thin and wiry but knew how to balance and shift weight as second nature.

The kitchen is now a masterpiece and a pleasure use – at last. Now, about that bathroom floor…




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Last modified on Thursday, 12 August 2021 23:56