It’s a Dog’s World

By Tony Moorby June 16, 2020 600

We are devoid of a dog! Lacking a lap snatcher. Minus a mutt. At last.

Terry recently helped a friend to run a small business, which meant she would be gone for a lot of the week.

She must have heard me muttering under my breath that the last thing I wanted was to be the canine custodian. I also took the opportunity to point out that she rarely lavished any open affection for Millie but merely scowled at her when under her feet.

A longtime friend heard of the rumblings and had always said that she would love to take Millie, pointing out that she could give the dog a more loving home that she had with us. I could not dispute her observations and even Terry had to finally agree. Remember this was dog number seven or eight, I’ve lost count.

A day later all evidence of Terry’s dog’s domicile was gone without a trace; dog, sleeping kennel, food and water trays, toys and even the dog food were relocated to Millie’s new home.

I should note here that Millie is ecstatic, having another dog to share her new home and she is spoiled to the point of syrupy sweetness. Tonsured to look like a powder puff as white as the driven snow, now the two dogs are preened and prissy as though they were on parade at the Westminster Dog Show. They even have matching coats for different days of the week!!

Similarly, I’m as thrilled to have the house to ourselves and will admit that my mean and selfish curmudgeonly ways don’t offend me in the least. I can cast around the patio or the yard without pausing for poop or evading excrement.

So, you think the family has shed a dog? Not so fast. Robby, who was an early instigator of our family’s involvement with dogs – he enjoyed their company without the usual responsibilities of feeding, exercising or cleaning up after them – now has a place of his own. Of course, a house is not a home as far as he’s concerned, unless its environs are graced by a dog. He’s been down this road before but that was in an apartment that didn’t have room to swing a cat, let alone a dog! So, Branson was dispatched to a friend’s farm to join three other space-loving critters. This latest adoption is an English Lab-Retriever. Lean, taut, svelte even and cream colored. I’ll bet you thought I was totally incapable of recognizing any admirable qualities in dogs. Not true, so long as it’s from afar, like, someone else’s and elsewhere.

I always refer to the everyday downsides of keeping canines. Long cream-colored hair accumulating around the skirting boards and hardwood floors (and God knows where else) in the molting season will test Robby’s housecleaning capacity to the max. I can see it now; fluff balls accumulating like tumbleweed. He maintains that it’s all part of loving a dog. That gene was missing from my sid

Remember Charlie? He now eats more than Olivia and her boyfriend combined. The Hound of the Basketcases is a bruiser with a stare that sends shivers down your spine to add to this corporeal colossus’ intimidating stance. But looks can be deceiving. Whilst I spend as little time as possible in his company, Charlie is friendly, amusing, clever and very smart – somewhere else! Charlie takes Olivia for a walk at least twice a day – because he can. Actually, she could probably ride on him! Her sofa has now become his as he takes up the whole thing when he reclines.

Bella, Mike’s mixed monster, is getting used to me. I’m afraid I can’t return the compliment.

Kevin, Ally and Aiden’s Frenchie, is simply a noisy menace and has the most excruciating, ear-piecing bark of any dog on this planet.

And it’s uglier now than ever!




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Last modified on Tuesday, 16 June 2020 19:11